Welcome to my humble sanctuary. I, the Keeper of this small corner of
Internet, welcome you to stay and look around.
It has not been a long time since I changed this part of my site. I
also think it will not take too long until this version of the About Me
section gets replaced by a new one. This is the way of life. Existence
changes all the time.
"There is no existence
without change, the biggest change being the one
from death to life, from life to death."
Which brings us to the first part of my introduction: Birth. Not much
is known about my origin, except that the first atoms of my shell grew
together in my mother's womb, then left that body and started an
existence of their own, namely me. From that time on I had a life at my
disposal, which I still have, otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here,
"The greatest difference
between that which exists and that which does
not is the finity of existence, the infinity of nothingness."
Abiding by that law is also my existence, which, slowly but
unstoppably, closes in on its final moment with every second of my
life. I was born, I grew, but so did the sicknesses in my mind of which
the origins are known to me, but nobody else.
"That which does not
behave in a way known or understandable to man
will always be feared, and that which is feared will always be shunned,
for humanity was born to fear and fear was born to keep alive."
Social deviation is just as normal as normality, but even deviation has
borders. I crossed those borders. Far too often did I cross them. So, I
became an outsider. An outcast. Society's reject.
From early age on I was expelled from the normals' socialization, so I
erased that part of my personality and replaced it with the strife for
perfection. Now, I am superior to normals.
I had never shed a tear for the happiness lost by becoming a loner.
Until, Enlightenment came.
In form of a Document from one of My Own Kind, finally a human being
who was also cast out, shunned, hated for being broken on the inside.
How a random computer file found its way to me? Fate, one might say.
Others could think it was coincidence. But surely it wasn't the hand of
God, as that being doesn't exist. At least not for me.
What I did after the Enlightenment? That story might be too long to
tell, too personal to share, too unimportant to pass it on. What
matters is change. Existence changes all the time.
Once a hedonist driven by the wishes for appreciation, perfection and
only the most basic instincts, I became one of My True People.
My True People
Most people probably know them as the Gothic subculture. It's the
everdark children of the night I belong to, and whose aesthetic values
I seek and admire.
"Normal" people's opinions about Gothic culture are quite diverse -
most of them don't really understand, many tolerate it, some turn their
backs on Goths and a few feel hate and repulsion at their sight.
Unfortunately there's also some rather unintelligent people who spread
propaganda of them being satanists, only because of their black clothes
and the often-encountered pagan symbols worn by them as rings or
amulets. Also, there's theories about Goths being responsible for all
the school shootings all over the world.
Well, the ignorance of the unknowing must be
In truth, the Gothic movement is a group of equal-minded,
beauty-loving, sometimes a bit too depressed people who share a common
love for all things black. Of course there's more to being a Goth, but
there's thick books just dealing with the other aspects, as well as
about the Gothic way of life itself. And even though all of these
endless studies and categorizations might be correct, all I can say is:
"People shouldn't be stereotyped
or compared to each other."